The Obscenity Of Objectification
Photo courtesy of Roar Media
Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
At the base of every act of violence is an act of objectification: as the evidence unfolds, it becomes clear to those investigating and prosecuting the crime that the perpetrator of the violence had ceased to think of the victim as a human being with worth, dignity and a destiny of their own. For the duration of the crime, the person who is subjected to the violence is deprived of their humanity before they lose their lives. The way acts of violence are perceived and described in legal terms reflects the belief that each act is a one off occurrence: something which occurs on a specific date, at a particular time and place and which is completed in the past. The consequences in terms of long term psychological impact, particularly in cases of sexual assault or domestic violence, occurring in a sequence of repeated acts over years, are only recently beginning to be understood.
For this complexity, the spectrum and the cumulative sequence of escalating violence to be comprehended, the social and psychological contexts of chronic domestic violence need first to be admitted and identified. The shock of being subjected to acts of disrespect often traumatises victims initially and they do not want to recognise it as a pattern in their primary relationships. This is particularly because these primary relationships are supposed to offer safety and provide support, encouragement and solace to human beings. When these relationships become dangerous to the sources of our psychological security, they threaten our survival and our sense of safety in the world.
Eight years ago, Sarah Sands stabbed a convicted paedophile to death. Her three sons said they were all sexually abused by the man, who was facing charges of sexual offences against young boys on the London housing estate where he lived. This case highlights the long term consequences of abuse, the compulsive predatory behaviour that many sex criminals show and the ways in which acts of violence incite violent responses in the victims and the families of the victims who have been subjected to ill treatment, creating a cycle of conflict and psychological damage. The interconnected nature of family ties makes it inevitable that violence done to children also impact their parents and other family members. In this case, the perpetrator of violence was not a family member but a neighbour, and had been accepted and trusted as such by the boys and their mother.
In many cases of child abuse and sexual assault in Sri Lanka, it is members of the victim’s own family who perpetrate the sexual abuse against the children, violating their trust in authority figures from a young age. Children also grow up in many cases of domestic violence seeing their mothers degraded and hurt by their fathers or stepfathers and witnessing these acts of violence traumatises them, even if the violence is not directed at them personally.
No one enters into intimate or domestic relationships without optimism and goodwill and hope. And this can work against us as we keep hoping that hostile words, threats, accusations and mockery are just the result of a bad day or a disappointment or a temporary frustration. Violence is not a one off act: it is an aspect of human nature and every expression of it has a buildup and a cumulation and a crisis and then – if the sources of it are not addressed – the crises become like a sinkhole, largening and widening, encompassing layers of relational and personal dysfunction. By the time an act of violence enters a law enforcement or legal system, the situation that it expresses has already caused months and years of damage to the trust, bodies, nervous systems and belief systems of those involved and robbed individuals of energy, hope and self-worth.
Women are specifically in danger from violence because of the systemic inequality they experience and the inferior social status they occupy in most countries in the world. When men who do not engage in violence are made aware of these realities and statistics, many say they feel as if women occupy a different world from the world in which they as men live and work. Women are continually made to feel powerless in many areas of their lives and there are vested interests in keeping them in situations which disempower them.
People have been dehumanised by violence – objectified, reduced to the functions they are required to perform, used, exploited and treated as if they deserved no empathy or compassion. It is difficult for many people even today to understand the long term consequences of acts of violence. Even our understanding of the definitions of violence are often limited to physical acts of beating, terror, abuse and humiliation. But today we are developing a greater awareness of the impact of verbal and psychological violence, of insults, harassment and bullying in the workplace, belittling at school and disrespect in many forms of interaction between people, including online violence, cyber bullying, hostile body language, catcalling, gestures, tone of voice, volume of voice and other “milder” expressions of hostility and violence which cause those experiencing them to feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
By the time violence emerges in physical acts, it is late in the day. The best and most effective long term way of addressing it is to pre-empt it. Individuals who have short fuses, or anger management issues, should not find their conduct being accepted and normalised. Ignorance about self-control and self-management of emotions can be addressed through education in ethics and civics from early years at school and in the family. Corporates and organisations could include such values training as part of their intake programmes, so incoming staff can see from the beginning the codes of conduct which are regarded as unacceptable across all levels of the organisation.
There are a range of communication choices available to each of us in every frustrating and stressful situation. If we feel caught up in the momentum of an overpowering impulse, that range and the likely outcome of each choice is not visible to us. But through training and insight, we can learn to recognise our own triggers and stresses and ensure that high conflict scenarios are minimised and controlled. Objectifying human beings is an act of disrespect. Violence inevitably results from that behaviour and the despair that ensues can be remedied, reduced and perhaps even eliminated with systemic societal effort.
